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The legendary Monty Python comedy troupe — revolutionaries by nature — decided to blend football with satire, a somewhat daring move given the importance of the sport in society and the seriousness with which some take it. In a sketch, they "brought together" Greek and German philosophers to face each other in a match at the 1972 Munich Olympics. The spectators present expected to enjoy an intriguing game, but the philosophers — also revolutionaries — had other ideas. Before commenting on the match itself, let's run through the starting line-ups, which came loaded with some very heavy artillery. For the German side, managed by Martin Luther, the team lined up with: Leibniz in goal; a defence of Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer and Schelling; Karl Jaspers in midfield alongside a special guest, Franz Beckenbauer; and up front, Schlegel, Wittgenstein, Nietzsche and Heidegger. Quite some team. The Greeks, selected by Thales of Miletus, fielded: Plato in goal; Epictetus, Aristotle, Sophocles and Empedocles of Agrigentum in defence; Plotinus, Epicurus, Heraclitus and Democritus in midfield; and up front the attacking partnership of Socrates and Archimedes. An absolute fantasy.
For much of the match, the players wandered about, thought, and even debated amongst themselves, with the most important object — the ball — largely ignored. In the first half, to nobody's surprise, there was not a clear chance on goal, and the opening period concluded with the score at 0–0. In the second half Nietzsche was booked by referee Confucius for claiming the ref had no free will. The match remained goalless and German manager Martin Luther introduced Karl Marx in an attempt to revolutionise proceedings in the final minutes.
The German substitution yielded nothing positive and Archimedes knew how to keep his side afloat. The Greek shouted "Eureka!" and hit upon the brilliant idea of using the ball. Archimedes played a cross to Socrates, who headed it into the back of the net to give Greece victory in the dying moments. The match was not without controversy — a potential offside against Socrates for his winning goal — but then Socrates was always ahead of his time.
The match ultimately ended in a Greek victory, which proved something of a premonition for what would happen a few years later at Euro 2004.
Only Monty Python could have created this kind of scenario. They mixed their particular comic vision with the beautiful game — always a complex challenge, but one that was undoubtedly a positive and very well received.
